Fuck Yea[h] NBA

Now, Alvin Robertson gets arrested the night before our first game for kicking a naked prostitute out of his hotel room after deciding he didn’t want to pay. He gets bailed out the next day at like 3 in the afternoon and our game is at 7. He goes out and leads the team in scoring and we win the first game. That’s when I knew that season was going to be weird.

[Ed. note: It seems our storyteller has taken a bit of poetic license. Robertson was arrested on an assault charge Oct. 28, 1995, after what media reports described as an “incident” with an unidentified Toronto woman. In the Raptors’ first game that season, on Nov. 3, Robertson led the team with 30 points, and Toronto defeated New Jersey, 94-79.]