Fuck Yea[h] NBA

Hey Shaq, I know you’re all “looking back” and trying to assess your legacy in your new book with Jackie, but there is only one greatest Laker of all time, and hopefully I don’t even need to tell everyone who that is.

In the 1980 NBA finals, when Kareem sprained his ankle mid-way through game 5, he was out of game 6 and doubtful for game 7. LA had to fly back to Philly to take them on in game 6. Ervin “Magic” Johnson, 20 years old at the time, sat in Kareem’s seat on the plane ride east. He then started at center, and played every position on the floor in route to 42 points, 15 rebounds and 7 dimes as LA wrapped up the title. Magic Johnson was a ROOKIE! Magic was named series MVP.

In game 7 against the Boston Celtics in 2010, Kobe Bryant was 31 years old, and coming off a championship the year before. He had Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom, Ron Artest (RIP), and Andrew Bynum on his team. He shot 6/24 and scored 23 points as the Lakers barely won the game after a late 4th quarter comeback punctuated by Artest’s late 3 to clinch it. Kobe was named the series MVP.

Magic Johnson battled Larry Bird in college and in the pros. They both won 3 MVP’s with Bird taking the award from 1984-86 and Magic winning in ‘87, 89, 90 (in 1988 a young upstart by the name of Michael Jordan won the award). 

They only faced off in the NBA Finals 3 times: 1984, 1985 and 1987 with Magic the victor in the last two of those contests-including his sky-hook from the lane in 1985. He actually wasn’t the NBA Finals MVP that year—with Kareem taking it, but none of us will forget that sky-hook.

Kobe Bryant has two NBA Finals MVP awards. Magic Johnson has three.

Magic Johnson has won 5 NBA titles. Kobe Bryant as won 5 NBA titles. Magic Johnson won 5 titles with Kareem, but 2 of them occurred when Kareem was 39 and 40 years old respectively. Kobe Bryant won 3 titles with Shaq when Shaq was easily the most dominant player in the league. Then he won 2 more with Pau Gasol, an all-world big man—if a bit of a pansy.

I know on the face of things Kobe seems right up there, and he is,* but he’s not the greatest Laker of all time. I can ring off as many comparisons as I could document, but simply put—Kobe Bryant is not Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson is the greatest Laker of all time. Let me repeat.

Magic Johnson is the greatest Laker of all time. Stop it Shaq. Just, stop it.

People that know—KNOW—Shaq is wrong. Just as easily as we know we’re alive.

*Emphasis for the Lakers fans who read this blog and think I’m unfair towards Kobe. He is one of the greatest 10 players of all time. Just not the greatest Laker.